The sky is dark today, even though light shines through. In my mind, thoughts of self-doubt, worthlessness, and grief embody me. Something inside me wants to push its way out, but can’t. Not all of my childhood was bad, but most of it was. Navigating through emotional abuse, neglect, and social barriers has molded me into the woman that I now am and I am not sure if I like who I have become. I am using this blog as a therapeutic supplement. My goal is to explore my deepest thoughts and revisit my past to bring healing to myself and possibly encourage other readers along the way.
One might say “happiness is where the home is”, but for me, happiness was anywhere else but home. A child usually dreads school days and can’t wait to come home after sitting in classes for hours five days a week and weekends are filled with fun with family, friends, trips, sports games, and any other activity you could imagine. For me, it was the opposite. I loved attending school, hated weekends, and cried when summer vacation came. Fear lingered with me whenever I stepped foot in my home; if you could call it home.
Grief is what I feel today. Grief of what never was, and will never have.
Welcome to my life! 